Where are my colors?

I can't recall how it struck me to do this... But when I saw this pic of mine, I suddenly realised I wasn't there in the pic... Am I lost? I could have processed this pic in 5 mins flat, but something made me work on it slowly, very slowly... I used a small brush size to recreate every color in the picture except my face only to see how all the wonderful colors contrasted with my desaturated face... It made me feel hollow, empty... Am I lost? People say I make them smile... I make them laugh... Where is my laughter? Where has my smile disappeared? There are times when people feel low in their life... When's mine gonna end?