Welcome!

Welcome to my scrapbook... I place where I pen down those thoughts which I rarely discuss with anybody...

This blog is meant for me to lodge in my random thoughts... These thoughts mostly some association with something going around me... Some are inspirations... Most will be dark... I dunno if anyone ever would be interested in reading them...

Monday, May 16, 2011

Moved...

I've permanently moved to wordpress now.

This is my new blog link...

http://myloudmind.wordpress.com/

Hope you like it. :)


Regards,
Todi :)

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Just another misconception about me...

Sometimes its really frustrating to see everyone believe in you so much. And its really an understatement to say that they believe me. They overestimate me. Its twelve hours to our first mid term paper. I'm here, writing this, while almost everyone else is at the least trying to study.

Don't be silly! I haven't completed my syllabus. Hell! I don't even perfectly know everything that it includes. I'm just bored. Some thing's  really wrong, and I can't figure out what. But there's one thing I've figured. People seriously think that I'm some kind of a freak who can cover up most of my studies in just one night!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

A futile attempt...

I couldn't keep a count of the number of attempts I made to write in the past 48 hours. But adamant me really wants to write down something.

Is there something called as a bad writing day? I don't know and I didn't want google to answer this for me. It's already been answering too much for me lately. No matter how hard I try, I just can't think of what to put here. I just wish I can write back soon. I've been trying since long now. Maybe its because of too many things going on in my head at the moment. Problem of Plenty?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Herd of Donkeys...

I came across this story a few days back when I was searching for something else, I wanted to share this story with all my readers ('my' readers wow!)... And had to obtain permission from the author for it. I loved the story, hope you do too!


On the refrigerator in our kitchen is a collection of magnets. Most represent places we have visited but there are a few donkeys.


Why donkeys?



Each one represents a present given to us by our extended family. They also have magnets of donkeys in their houses. Each one represents a donation to a charity that works in the poorer parts of the world and is an acknowledgement of a sum of money equivalent to a donkey.



To a poor family in a rural area a donkey is a capital investment that produces income. The donkey can help with the ploughing and farm work, can carry produce to market and essential purchases back to the owner's home, can carry the baby, the grandparent, anything reasonable.



There are also some magnets for hand tools, spades, hoes, rakes etc. In my garden shed I have a collection of such tools that would be incredible riches in some parts of the world. They couldn't use the power tools in my garage because they have no electricity but the various hand saws and drills, the hammers, the wrenches, perhaps the screwdrivers and certainly the plastic sheeting would be very useful.



We take for granted so many things that others might envy. We have ready access to clean water, to sanitation that prevents disease, to food, shelter, fuel for cooking and heating -- we've got all of these and so much more. We have hot and cold water just by turning one of several taps in the house. If we want heat we just switch on the heating. If we want to cook, there is the oven, the hob, the microwave, the lean grill, the slo-cooker, the pots and pans, plates, cutlery, jugs, bowls, bottles and even the wine cellar.



On the first Christmas there was no room at the inn but the family were given shelter in the stable. What hotelkeeper would do that now? If you can't afford a bed or if the hotel is full, you will be turned away. You might get directions to another hotel but without money would you get any shelter?



Our donkey magnets are a constant reminder that there are many people far worse off than the poorest people in our country. At Christmas we spend money on presents for friends and relations. Sometimes we spend too much money, more than we should or more than our bank manager thinks reasonable, and perhaps buy presents that will be neglected after Christmas Day. Yet the family's donkeys will last far longer than the latest toy or gadget. They won't last forever but they might last long enough to start one family on the way from desperation to self sufficiency and even a small surplus.



I don't know or care whether the family that gets one of our donkeys is Christian, Muslim, of any religion or none. I don't know or care what language they speak, what country they live in, what their politics are if they are allowed democracy, and certainly not what colour their skin is. I just hope that a donkey will help them.



I also know that our donkey might be a metaphorical donkey. It maybe that the charity decides that tools, or a well for clean water, or a school, a road, a clinic, a nurse is a better way for the particular community of spending the money we've given to buy a donkey. I don't care. The charity has a good record of getting money to where it is needed, with low administration costs, and of letting the local people decide how the money should best be spent to help as many people as possible.



One of my friends has a much more direct way of helping poor people, in his case in a particular region of Africa. From September to June he is available to be the quizmaster of Wine and Wisdom evenings. He charges a small fee for each evening and that money is banked for his next visit to Africa. The Wine and Wisdom evenings raise money for charities, a whole range of charities, but they pay him his small fee as part of the expenses. Sometimes he makes an appeal for his own African community. His fees might make a few hundred pounds in a year. His friends, his acquaintances and his appeals make that few hundred pounds into tens of thousands of pounds.



He works through the local Bishop in Africa, not because he is a practising Christian, but because the Bishop is an honest man who will see that the money isn't misused. My friend's first project was to build a Church. The Church is a school during the day, a health clinic in the evenings, and the schoolgirls' dormitory at night. It isn't an architectural masterpiece. In our country we'd pass it by thinking it was a small factory or storeroom but it is the centre of a large community in Africa. 



Outside the Church is a temporary shelter with a leaf roof and woven plant stalk half-walls. It is the school's dining kitchen and dining room and the schoolboys' dormitory at night. Beyond the shelter is the water pump that produces all the drinking water for the school children and the local village. The villages for a ten-mile radius around the church also have water pumps paid for by my friend's fund-raising. He wanted to install more water pumps but although he can raise the money those locals who have the skills to sink a well are always busy.



Last year he persuaded some of his friends to drive to this remote part of Africa in an old Land Rover equipped with a drill. In three weeks his friends built ten wells. They trained some of the locals on the use of the Land Rover before flying back home. 



We take water for granted. We wouldn't want a donkey. Yet a donkey can represent far more than an expensive present that might not be appreciated.



This Christmas our herd of donkeys will be slightly larger. Will yours?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

This day, That year...

I have been wanting to write from a long time, ever since my last post I've been wanting that silence and peace more than ever... I guess it took me a long time to realize where to find it... 
3rd January, 2010:

My Facebook status said, 
"Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference." 

You know, I must have read this somewhere.But the moment I read it, I knew I wanted this to be true. I meant it every word when I reread it again and again. And it must be one of those moments, when He grants you what you ask for. It was my good fortune that I ran into the right comrades without whom my journey the last year would not have brought me where I stand now, for they were the ones who guided & assisted me, showed their faith in me, laughed & danced during the light moods, lent me a shoulder during the 'not so' light ones. 

Comrades new and comrades old, The old ones never seemed to get weary of me. They'd been with me in those times when Vivek Todi was not exactly the same as you see today. And the new ones? They were and still are those who help me help myself stay insanely sane and stable through everything this year has shown me. 

This year I also learnt that I can forget those close friends whom I don't want to like anymore, And I must confess I do not remember any valid reason for not liking them anymore other than the fact that I do not like them anymore. I have been successful enough in staying away from unfriendly, unwanted & selfish associations I had been trying to get out of. And this itself was my first step in learning to difference between the good and the bad. I began to calculate.

It's not that I've been always very calculative about my associations, mind you I do not speak of my relations over here only associations! I believe relations are far above than petty calculations. Speaking in terms of business logic, a relation is a business where you simply enjoy the transaction without worrying about the profit or loss.  As for associations, I've been calculative about them this year. 

But the real achievement wasn't about becoming calculative, the achievement was learning when to stop these calculations. Things change when time passes by, associations turn into needs, passions and commitments to die for. And that's where it all stops, all the calculations come to an end. 

It's like knowing when you've fallen in love... And then you know where to steer...

Thursday, November 18, 2010

A promise to her...

I promise u... After I finish writing this, I'll try n smile... I'll still try to make my life worthy of living and smiling... Though that tear shall always remain in the deepest corner of my eye... My smile shall never fade... If you ask me to forget you... I'll ask you why should I... You are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me, nothing can take that place... Memories of our good times and of our bad ones too... I'll cherish them forever... The moments we laughed, The moments we shed tears, The ones when we fought and swore never to see each other's face ever again... And after that? The moments we spent in our arms... How can I let go of them? No I cannot... I promise you that I'll walk with the same stride I always have... With the same fire inside me to conquer the world...

I don't want to stop writing this to you... I really don't want to, cuz after I finish writing this... I'll have to stop these tears and smile honestly... They feel so good after a long time... I really find it hard to smile, But I will... I promise you... I will always love u and somewhere deep within me I'll be the same person you really loved...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The importance of Today...


"Your honest attempt to bring smiles on their faces will always remain the reason for you to smile..."

This line shall always, always, be my motivation for taking up the clown's role for Children's Day Celebration at my Alma Mater, KC College NSS Unit's Anandotsav... I never knew it would be so rewarding till the day of performance...


I still remember the first time, in 2008, I walked into our sports room filled with old aged ladies from 'Home for the Elderly', Their smiles and surprised faces seem so fresh in my memory... They clutched my arms and asked the photographer to click snaps, some even asked me to sing a song from 'Mera naam Joker'... Thanked me, asked my name & told me they'd pray for all of us for making their day... That warm feeling sank in so well, making someone like me feel all butter... Not to mention the love showered by the kids, Life never felt so good... So relaxed, So happy that I could just forgive anyone in the world if he asked for it...


And that moment I resolved that, "This one day Vivek Todi shalt not miss as a chance to do good, no matter what." Truly limitless happiness in one day...

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